Posting something so positive doesn’t make me a totally positive person. It’s constant battle honestly, but compared to who I was and what I used to think and do, I’m better now than back then. Changing how I think and do things, even how I see myself, has been a struggle. It has nothing to do about how people see me or who I speak to. It was, and still is, an inner battle about how I see things and react to people.
Back in 2012, when I first got a chance to hang out with my LibLayp friends, I was asked a question as to why I keep on posting positive stuff (or so my memory tells me). They may have asked me something different but that’s how I understood it. The posts being referred to here is on Facebook. My timeline was filled with so much positive reposts and affirmations. Anyone who looked may either be thinking I’m a saint or a big lie. But during that time, posting such has become an addiction. Anything that I saw as a “good stuff” to share was shared, and any “inspired idea” was posted. But why did I do that? Or how I ended up like that? The answer is pretty simple:
I want to help myself… other than that I don’t like to keep my family from worrying….
Before this all happened, my dad was asked by my aunt (my mom’s sister) regarding my condition. How was I feeling? What was happening to me? It’s been a few years since my mom died and of course my “frustrating”, “gloomy”, posts are bothering. Whenever I was disappointed I posted it on Facebook. Whenever I felt frustrated I posted it on Facebook. And embarrassing as it is, yes, Facebook became a psychiatrist who never responded back. I was posting self-pity all over for the world to see – especially my relatives.
That gave them the wrong impression about me, especially my family. Of course, even if it was just a small thing that frustrated me, no one knew that. Any posts that shows depression, anxiety, annoyance, or self-pity causes its readers to feel bad too. Everybody goes through something in life and surely what you send out to their newsfeed will likely cause them more despair than what you are going through. Eventually this can come back at you by them posting something as negative as your post but with a bigger impact on you. I’m pretty sure not everybody knows this. I still see posts that show frustrations at work, their daily lives and even love life – and these came from teens mostly. I sometimes wonder if their family and friends speak to them about what they’re going through. I know I had. I changed my postings and honestly they kept good watch over my posts.
After my dad told me about my aunt’s questions I decided that what I was posting isn’t helping anyone. It caused my love ones to worry, and the possibility that someone may be relating to what I posts and feeling bad more than they already are. So I changed. It was hard especially since it became a habit. I have to watch over my posts, think twice, and imagine how someone would react if they see an inspiring post instead. Of course this isn’t something to impress them or anything. It was more about helping me and hopefully helping someone.
Imagining someone inspired with a post is better than imagining their reaction about a negative post. Surely, if you did the latter most of you would think “They don’t care what I post” or “it’s my life not theirs”. Whether you like it or not, they do care. Other than you’ll annoy them they’d definitely feel sorry not for you but for themselves (that’s actually the reason why they’re most likely to feel annoyance).
So, how did I keep watch of what I share on Facebook?
Of course there’s still this nudge to post whatever pent up frustration I was feeling. To make sure I stopped myself from posting, I followed Facebook Pages that showed positive posts instead. Positive Outlooks was the first one. Every time I felt something negative I go over their pages, find something positive that can help me oppose the feeling, and share it. My first shared post was a hit to many. Then came the next negative nudge that was blocked by a positive share, then another, and then another. The next thing I knew I was sharing every inspiring stuff I saw in Facebook and Twitter, whether it was something that boosted me from a negative feeling, or something that just delights me. A day never went by that I wasn’t posting it.
Eventually I began sharing any positive idea that came. During that time I was already hooked with personal development PDFs, books, videos, and audiobooks. Eventually my blog and its fan page shared some too, especially the fan page. I asked cousins to help me out too. I even shared any inspiring posts from friend. I started adding even friends who showed inspiring posts and more pages. Eventually it was through this that I met the person who guided me in having a closer relationship with God which even made the whole “positive journey” more fulfilling (I became a born again Christian). Being a Christian made me see I can overcome challenges: that I can be VICTOR instead of a VICTIM…and that really helped me deal with my issues more.
I’m not perfect, and I still have the negative issues I do face; but instead of posting it for the world to see or take pity on me, I deal with it. Someone once commented how “fake” I was that I was sharing positive stuff although I was feeling negative. I think this is where the “I don’t care” and “it’s my life” mentality should be applied. After all, I post to inspire even me. I want to help me by changing how I think and in the process help others by at least giving them something that can help them feel good – a light to the gloom they keep inside.
Positing something positive should be because you care for everyone who sees your posts. It’s not about making an image or anything but rather knowing that even through social media you’re sharing a smile to someone and helping them deal with life’s challenges—one post at a time. Make it your duty. Make it a commitment to God. Instead of posting selfies or your frustration on something, try it. See how you can help yourself and others too.